Still Learning

Home. It's strange how such a familiar place can seem so unfamiliar. How you can feel almost uncomfortable in your own house. It is strange but it's how I feel. Coming home has been filled with so many emotions! Sad, that I had to leave my team; scared, of decisions I have to make; excited, to see my family and friends; and ready, to sleep in my own bed. Please don't get me wrong, I am so happy to be home and am so ready for this next chapter of life.

I think why I feel so strange is because, living in Ireland with the same 12 people for three weeks had become normal and easy to some extent. I could have done it for a few more weeks and been perfectly happy. For three weeks I was living in constant 24/7 community. I'm not saying that those three weeks were filled with rainbows and butterflies, trust me they weren't. There were times when just putting on a happy face while being miserable inside would have been much easier, I even tried it. But being in constant community doesn't allow that. Constant community requires that you call people out, you challenge people, and you give a wee cuddle when needed. And you do ALL of that in LOVE. Community requires some sacrifice from every member of said community. It means you love even the ones who make it difficult to do so. It means meeting people where they are, no matter where you think they should be. It's a commitment of the highest regard. And it's how we were designed to live.

So, I think that's why it is hard to be home, I've been plucked out of situation of constant community where I was able to be 100% me and thrown back into one where I've never been 100% me. I have been half arse-ing my way through community and then get upset when 100% isn't given back to me. I have been wanting sacrifice from others but have been unwilling to give it myself.

Talk about a slap upside the face! I was just trying to figure out how to say how I feel like I give 100% and no one else does. And then God was like hold your horses there little lady, remember that thing you've been working on, pride, does it ring a bell?! Man, God is so good and I am so grateful He stopped me from making a complete arse of myself.

Lesson: Pride within community is like oil and vinegar. Mind = blown!! #boom

My Compass is Fixed and Ready to Guide

One day!! That's right people I only have one day till I begin the trek home. And I've been freaking out. I just don't want to go home. It's not that in leaving Ireland I'll be leaving "home" and where God has called me, and it's not that my home situation is a mess and so I don't want to go back. Neither of those things are true. It's merely for the fact of the unknown. I honestly have had no idea what I would do when I go home. Yes, I have a job back home, but it's not one I plan to keep forever. And, yes I have all my family and friends back home and miss them like crazy! But, I don't really feel called to home anymore. I need a fresh start, I need new surroundings, I just need to be me. And it has taken going around the world to realize that. These past three weeks here in beautiful Ireland have really changed me. It's not some radical thing to where I'm moving to Ireland as soon as I go home, or just not going home at all. But, the Lord has really touched me and spoke to me things about my future. He has confirmed things that I heard Him speak years ago. He has opened doors to new and exciting potential adventures. I feel refreshed, renewed, and loved. He does have plans for my life and they are amazing and He is revealing them in His timing which is always perfect.

Oh girl this is totes the best team EVER!

So now I am pumpedish to go home. I don't feel like I have to know every little detail of what is to come. That relying on God is enough, ha who would have thunk it! The ish refers to leaving my home girls from my team. This team of 12 beautiful, strong, and lovely girls have impacted me more than words can describe, and I am forever grateful. So, here's to you Ireland, land of the green and rain, you have changed me forever!

Totes my new bestie!

Beauty in the Sickness

For the past 5ish days I have been sick. I have been coughing my head off, so much so that my abdomen is in some serious pain. After a meeting on Monday night, well actually all through it I was sweating and burning up hot. Feeling as though I might pass out my leader told me to bundle up and go to bed. So, I went upstairs took a few swigs from my bottle of cough syrup, popped a few ibuprofen and hit the hay. I tossed and turned all night, the inside of my sleeping bag felt like Hell. If someone had cracked an egg on me it probably would have fried! (Note: this is not all that exaggerated) 

I felt weak and upset that I was sick and even more upset that I was showing weakness. You see I have this little problem called PRIDE! And that little bugger has gotten me into lots of trouble over my 23 years on Earth. It causes me to sometimes talk down to people, to use condescending tones with my parents, and it also has a tendency to make me over extend myself to the point of utter exhaustion where I just want to quit any and every thing I was a part of. The weird part of my pride is, I don't have a whole ton to be proud of. I'm not putting myself down, but if you look at my life and then measure it with my pride you'll see one of them falls short. The few things I have accomplished in life were not even my doing but God's, if anyone should be proud it's Him. I mean His pronouns are capitalized for goodness sake. But that's the beauty I have come to discover, that the Sovereign Lord of all, creator of the universe, and Almighty God is not not a proud individual. So why in the heck do I feel the need to be!? 

He's teaching me that it's ok, and maybe even better if I don't know everything that's going on. That it's ok to be weak, because it is in my weakness, that His awesome power is able to shine through. If I fully rely on Him and plans change and things go "wrong" it's all good cause I'm following Him and leaning on Him and because of that I will NEVER fall flat. I may scrape my knee, or break a bone but I will never fall out of His grace and mercy and love. Come on people that is something to shout about, am I right? 

I'm not saying I have it all figured out. I'm not even saying I have some of it figured out. But, I'm learning. I'll be honest, right before I sat down to write this I had an inner battle with my pride and it almost won, but the Lord is good and He gave me one more nudge to put me back on the right path. 

P.S. Mom and Dad don't freak out, I'm not dying. I've decided that if on a scale from 1-10 I get to a -3 I'll get Ashley to take me to the hospital. Right now I at a 5-6ish which is a huge improvement from 24 hours ago! 

Goodbye Shannon Town

So, it's Sunday morning and I only have a few hours left here in Shannon. So, I'm feeling a bit nostalgic about my 10 days here.

I feel as though I have grown while here. God has truly been stretching me! I feel that I have been able to be myself around the youth and my team, which is a big deal for me. When around unfamiliar people and even my besties sometimes, I get nervous and feel as though I can't be myself for fear of rejection, so if I don't act like myself and I get rejected they aren't really rejecting me. But, that is such a stupid way of thinking, I mean I really must be some kind of crazy! And I know God is helping me overcome that, so that totes rocks. Thanks God!

My time here has been busy, affirming, and fun. We have done so many different types of ministry; door to door, open air, teen drop-ins, VBS, and Sunday school. I've loved some of it, not been a huge fan of others, but God has been there in every situation. VBS was by far my favorite part! I felt like I was in my element while teaching the craft station. And I absolutely loved the singing and dancing with the wee ones! The teen drop-in nights were neat, it was cool to see the looks on some of the teens faces during a drama or during someone's testimony. They identified with what was going on and it stirred something inside of them and some got freaked out and left and others stayed to hang on every word that was being said. We didn't have people getting saved left and right, but I know that I know that I know that God made a difference in their lives. And at least some of them will enter His Kingdom some day, however close or far away that day may be. The Lord is faithful and His word does not return void.

It's a strange feeling getting to know people and investing in lives that you probably won't see again until Heaven. I'm not the best with goodbyes, but that is the beauty of The Church, goodbyes are never eternal. It's really sad leaving Shannon. I have loved getting to know all of the people from the church here. The pastor's family is incredible, his daughters are some of the sweetest and God loving girls I have ever met! And all of the other people in the church are just as lovely. They know how to live in true community, for sure!

So, here's to you Shannon Town! You have been a most gracious hostess, and you will hold a piece of my heart forever. Stay BRILLIANT!

Uncomfortable with the Elderly

Ok, so this may sound strange or disrespectful or whatever, but old people make me feel uncomfortable. There I said it. I get so nervous and tongue tided around them and just have nothing to say. I think their wisdom they have gained from many years on this earth intimidates me. And I have a hard time understanding some of their speech, so that just adds to the anxiety. So, any-who yesterday we went to an assisted living home here in Shannon. I was like freaking out all morning and slightly dreading going. (I know that sounds so horrible) But, I did it, I got in the car and then when we got there I got out and went inside. So we had just finished singing and the pastor was like, "Ok now it's time for someone to share". And my ever so lovely team leader was like, "Taylor, go." I didn't even have time to think or respond as I was being pushed to the front of the pack. And then I was met face to face to face with about 15 elderly people sitting around the room all staring at ME! In my head was a minor freakout. And then the words just started spilling out. Trust me it was nothing eloquent or even that awesome, but those words were from God, because there wasn't anything going on in my head except freakoutage. I talked about how when I moved from Kentucky to Alabama I hardened my heart towards God and my parents for making me move. How I thought the world had ended and that God was playing some kind of cruel joke on me. But then I talked about how at Camp of Champions God really touched me and spoke to me through Jeremiah 29:11, which says, "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."How, He restored my faith in Him and He made me feel loved and like He did have a plan for me. I felt like I was rambling and I don't even remember all of what I said, but sometimes I think that's best, because then I don't feel like I left anything out. After I shared I started crying and I still don't really know why. I think God was stirring something inside me but I didn't really have time to process it or to talk it out. So, we shall see what comes from this. I still have some aversion to old people and I didn't really go reach out after my testimony, I was a bit shaken up. But God is so good and I hope He used the testimony of His goodness to touch someone.

To God be the GLORY!

Ireland Thus Far

So, I've been here a little over a week in Ireland, land o' the green and rain. I love this country. The weather is great none of that 100 degree nonsense like back home. And actually it's only rained a little bit and when it has it was a light rain. The first few days were rough with missing my family and adjusting to a new time zone and the like.

I spent about 4 days in Rahara doing training with a ministry called Operation Mobilization(OM). My AIM team has partnered with OM in what they call Impact Ireland. OM sent out five teams throughout Ireland. We left their base on Friday and are here till Sunday the 15th.

Now we are in Shannon and doing ministry. A typical day looks like this:
8:30am- wake up
9:00am- breakfast and team time
10:00am- devotion with members of the church
11ish am- hit the streets inviting people to church, youth meetings, and VBS
1ish pm- lunch
2:00pm- Back to the streets for more evangelizing and/or planning for events
5:00pm- dinner
7:00pm- youth meeting (hanging out and sharing testimonies with the local youth)
11-1ish- bedtime

It is a packed schedule but I am so thankful that I have been sleeping fairly well during the night so I'm not dead on my feet. The youth meetings have been great! God is moving here in Shannon and the teens are hungry. When people are sharing testimonies it's so neat to see some of the looks on their faces. It's like they are really identifying with the speaker. You can see the wheels turning in their minds. I love just sitting back and watching God stirring things within them.

Today was the first of a two day VBS. And I am loving it! I am in the craft room and it's so fun just to hang out with the kids and talk to them while doing a craft that pertains to the Bible story they learned. Some of these kids have never heard the Gospel before and to hear them answer questions about the story of David and Goliath is so amazing! I feel like I'm in my element with the wee ones.

As far as how you could be praying for my team and I, there are a few ways.
1. Working with the teens here can be draining, so if you could pray for renewed strength everyday.
2. I have come down with some laryngitis or something of that nature, I'm not letting it get me down but it is pretty annoying sounding like a man all the time. ;)
3. That our team would continue to work as one.

Here is the Impact Ireland team in Rahara

4. And last that God would just reign down here in Shannon and the cloud of darkness would be lifted in Jesus name!