I have been a resident of Gainesville, GA for two whole entire weeks. That's 14 days, 1/2 a month, 1/26 of a year.
I have a bit of a routine now. Monday through Thursday I go to work. Come home hang with the roomies. Go to bed. And repeat. Fridays I use to fundraise. Making phone calls to, Skyping with, and emailing my supporters and potential supporters. I like that there is routine. I like having some semblance of structure in my life.
But, if I can be honest with you all for just a few, it is still so hard. I'm still the new girl. I'm still trying to get used to not being able to kiss my family goodnight every night. I'm still working on getting a handle on not being able to see my besties whenever I want. I'm still finding my way around town, getting used to higher gas prices up here. Everyday there is something new, and it sucks, pardon my French.
I don't doubt that this is where God wants me. And I wasn't naive enough to think it was going to be super easy. But, I did underestimate just how hard this transition was going to be. Everyday I tell myself, "I just wanna go home." And then I hear that still small voice saying, "You are home for now and it's going to get better." It is real hard to listen to that voice and believe it, because of the pain I feel. But if I have nothing but what the Lord Almighty says then I still have it all.
I promise I'll make my next post a little more happy. But, this is where I am right now.
Thank you all for your prayers and support during this time of transition and heartache.
Holding onto this truth at the moment---> "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Friday, September 7, 2012
OMG I'm a Grown-up!?
Tomorrow is my one week anniversary of moving to Gainesville, GA to work at Adventures in Missions. Crazy how one week has already flown by. This week has been really tough. I miss my friends like CA-RA-A-ZEE, and my family that much more! It just hit as my fingers are gliding across the key board how much I actually miss Mobile and all of it's inhabitants, all week I have been suppressing my emotions apparently because as I type this tears are streaming down my face! Oh how I long to be home with my family sitting around the dinner table with non-stop chatter about everyones' days. But, as hard as it is to be here sitting on my couch alone I know this is God's plan. Why do His plans have to be so heart wrenching sometimes?! I know His plans are good and I know He loves me and I know He sees the pain I am in. I also know that growth is painful most of the time and that in order for Him to show me something wonderful it means stepping out in faith and trusting that no matter how far away He seems, He is right there beside me, holding me and guiding me.
Ok so enough with the boo-who-ing, here's the other side of living away from home.
Life out on my own is weird. I come home from work to a usually empty apartment, that I live in and pay rent for. When did I become so grown-up!? It feels like I graduated high school yesterday but, here I am 23 and paying rent. I buy my own groceries too, no more grocery fairy.(mom, thanks for that) Though all this might would make someone feel old it makes me feel like a child. I don't feel old enough to be doing this, like I'm playing house or something. Don't get me wrong it's fun and my roommates are great! It's just weird. That is probably the best word to describe all of this. WEIRD
Please keep me in your prayers. I need them now more than ever. This whole situation has two outcomes. One, I stay sad and unable to get a handle on my emotions and completely fall apart unable to be 100% me. Two, I suck it up and move on and things go great, I'm able to be 100% me and make lots of friends and really flourish here in Gainesville. Obviously I'm hoping for the second one but that is going to require a lot from me and that's the thing, it all falls upon my shoulders. No one can force me which kinda freaks me out because in a way I am totes ok with being a hermit with no friends, it's easy, I'm good at that.
Thank you all for reading the vomit that is how I feel about all this new stuff. Hope it made sense at least a little bit.
In the words of my bestie who I miss so much, "Peace and hair grease."
Ok so enough with the boo-who-ing, here's the other side of living away from home.
Life out on my own is weird. I come home from work to a usually empty apartment, that I live in and pay rent for. When did I become so grown-up!? It feels like I graduated high school yesterday but, here I am 23 and paying rent. I buy my own groceries too, no more grocery fairy.(mom, thanks for that) Though all this might would make someone feel old it makes me feel like a child. I don't feel old enough to be doing this, like I'm playing house or something. Don't get me wrong it's fun and my roommates are great! It's just weird. That is probably the best word to describe all of this. WEIRD
Please keep me in your prayers. I need them now more than ever. This whole situation has two outcomes. One, I stay sad and unable to get a handle on my emotions and completely fall apart unable to be 100% me. Two, I suck it up and move on and things go great, I'm able to be 100% me and make lots of friends and really flourish here in Gainesville. Obviously I'm hoping for the second one but that is going to require a lot from me and that's the thing, it all falls upon my shoulders. No one can force me which kinda freaks me out because in a way I am totes ok with being a hermit with no friends, it's easy, I'm good at that.
Thank you all for reading the vomit that is how I feel about all this new stuff. Hope it made sense at least a little bit.
In the words of my bestie who I miss so much, "Peace and hair grease."
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